Man shares the challenges of caring for a loved one with dementia
By Taylor Holt, News 4 Anchor
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O’FALLON, Missouri (KMOV) — Norman Henderson flips through photos of the past on a Friday afternoon. They contain dozens of memories over the past 50-plus years that he and his wife, Jan, have been married.
His wife is now living in a nursing home. She was diagnosed with Dementia about four years ago.
“There were some traumatic things that happened,” said Henderson. That included her losing her best friend and taking care of a sick mother. It was around that time he started seeing the symptoms.
“She started seeing things in the middle of the night. She started seeing pictures on the ceiling, and hearing voices in the closet. At first, it was periodic. Then, it got worse,” he recalled.
For a year, they searched for answers. Until finally, a neurologist at BJC diagnosed her with dementia with Lewy bodies, an extreme form of the disease. However, they had answers, and could start moving forward.
“We got answers on why she was acting the way she was, and we also got involved with the Alzheimer’s Association. They sent us a case worker and a social worker,” Henderson said.
After a year of getting in-home healthcare, they found a nursing home was better fit to give her the 24-hour care she needed. Henderson could also start to focus on his own health. He joined the Association’s men’s support group.
“For families, maybe they just got a diagnosis and they need help understanding what to do next and what plans they need to put in place to ensure high quality of life, or maybe the disease has progressed and they are experiencing new challenges,” said Sarah Lovegreen, Vice-President of Programs for the Alzheimer’s Association of Greater Missouri.
Lovegreen said education is key, especially in the earliest stages.
“We educate on the 10 warning signs, so changes in short-term memory, memory or difficulty doing new things. Maybe they have difficulty doing very common tasks like finances, or cooking a favorite recipe,” Lovegreen said.
Henderson advises others like him to reach out for support. “Talk to them and tell them your story, and they will listen,” he said.
Jan’s disease is now in the moderate to severe stage, but he said time and support have helped in his healing. For now though, he continues to take it one day at a time.
“You take the good days with you. You leave the bad days there, but you have to learn how to deal with them and how to let go because it will eat you up,” Henderson said.
The Alzheimer’s Association’s annual walk is Saturday, October 23. It’s one of their biggest events in support of their programs and other resources the organization provides.
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