St. Louis couple reflects on Valentine’s Day and love while living with Alzheimer’s
St. Louis couple Dan Flynn and Marsha Callender are showing people how important it is to show your partner you love them every day.
By Shoshana Stahl
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ST. LOUIS (KMOV) — Valentine’s Day is coming up, and it’s a holiday filled with chocolates, flowers and lots of love.
St. Louis couple Dan Flynn and Marsha Callender are showing people how important it is to show your partner you love them every day.
“I often tell myself that there’s 3.5 billion men on this planet and every one of them wishes he was sitting next to her right now,” Flynn said.
It’s a third chance at love for Flynn and Callender, as they celebrate a decade of marriage this year.
“I don’t introduce her as my third wife,” Flynn said. “I introduce her as my last wife.”
Callendar was a hospice nurse, which is where her coworkers first started noticing the initial changes in her.
In 2019, Callender was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
“Having been in hospice, Marsha knew exactly what her future was gonna look like,” Flynn said. “She had had hundreds of patients with dementia and she said while I’m still me, I wanna be back around the kids and the grandkids. So we moved back to St. Louis.”
Callender is on medication to slow down her memory loss.
The medication is part of the Washington University in St. Louis’ aging and memory program, where they monitor her functioning for the rest of her life.
When Callender dies, her brain will be donated to be studied so more can be learned about the disease.
“She’s looking forward to being part of advancing that cure,” Flynn said. “I don’t know that it will happen in time to help Marsha but Marsha has set herself up to be part of finding the solution.”
Their love story and battle with the disease is one that has touched so many in their lives.
Jennifer Schafer with the Alzheimer’s Association is one of them, saying it’s people like Callender who are helping to unlock what causes this disease.
“It is very instrumental in this fight for us to find a cure,” Schafer said.
Alzheimer’s doesn’t just impact the person with the diagnosis.
It’s a disease that impacts friends and family as well.
Schafer said there are millions of unpaid caregivers.
“The caregiver often can suffer critical disease themselves because of the stress that they share in the journey with their loved one and the overall need of meeting the individual’s needs on a daily basis for 24 hours.”
Flynn has taken over that role, transitioning from husband to also being a full-time caregiver.
“I’ve always described it as the best job I’ve ever had,” Flynn said. “To be able to take care of somebody you love. That’s part of what it’s all about, right?”
More information on the 10 warning signs of Alzheimer’s can be found here.
The Alzheimer’s Association also has resources available for those living with the disease, as well as their loved ones.
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