Sending a monthly postcard can help you practice gratitude

By Julianna Bragg, CNN

(CNN) — If you asked me what makes my heart sing, I’d immediately say words of affirmation. Few things bring me greater joy than hearing or reading heartfelt expressions of endearment from others.

Sharing kind words is also one of the ways I show love to those around me, but I often feel by the year’s end that I haven’t expressed my admiration for others enough. While it’s wonderful to convey affection in person, it’s not always an option for me since I live far away from many of my family and friends.

However, writing your feelings down offers a unique advantage — it gives the recipient a tangible, lasting reminder they can revisit when not in your presence. Personally, I treasure the idea of holding a physical sentiment that connects me to someone special in my life.

That’s why I decided to start a new tradition this year: writing one postcard each month to someone special in my life. It’s going to be unrelated to their birthday or any holidays because I want to add an element of surprise.

I think postcards will be a wonderful option for messages of gratitude because they feel less daunting than writing an entire letter. And isn’t it likely you already have a stash of postcards from previous trips that you haven’t found a purpose for yet?

The benefits of practicing gratitude

Incorporating gratitude into your routine is important because people crave recognition but can’t always provide it for themselves, according to Dr. Robert Emmons, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of California, Davis.

Although not everyone conveys gratitude in the same way, finding a practice that feels natural to you can positively impact your life and the lives of those around you, Emmons said.

If you have trouble communicating thankfulness, writing a postcard might be a nice way to gently push yourself out of your comfort zone.

Emmons explained that writing letters of gratitude can be more challenging than expressing appreciation in person because it may require people to elaborate on their feelings of vulnerability and self-disclosure instead of using generic statements that don’t hold significance or meaning.

“A regular monthly practice such as (writing a postcard) is beneficial as it causes us to reflect on how we are supported and sustained by the kindness of others,” he said.

People might be more expressive with their appreciation in postcards with phrases like “I am so thankful that you helped me out when I was in trouble …,” or “I’m grateful that you are in my life,” according to Emmons, which are more meaningful and descriptive than what might typically be used in face-to-face interactions.

Sending gratitude in written form may also allow others to reflect on their own gratitude journey, Emmons said, because thankfulness is learned and practiced from those around you. It’s also likely that many people will cherish your letters and look back on your kind words frequently.

“Gratitude is the moral cement, the all-purpose glue, the emotional spackle that squeezes into the cracks between people, strengthening and solidifying these relationships,” Emmons said.

Growing your gratitude

While postcards are a great way to initiate your gratitude practice this year, if you and the recipients don’t find joy in this exercise, you can try other simple ways to expand your gratitude.

In lieu of or in addition to postcards, Emmons recommends that people practicing gratitude try to write letters to loved ones to go more in-depth about how the receiver has made an impact on their life.

Increasing the frequency of sending gratitude notes is another option. Try challenging yourself by writing a letter weekly instead of monthly to increase the number of people you can reach and connect with throughout the year.

For a more intimate experience, consider delivering your letter in person and reading your sincere words aloud to the recipient, Emmons said.

Remember that sending a postcard or letter is a gift, and you should not expect the recipient to respond to your message, even if you’d like them to do so.

You can extend an invitation for someone to reply, as long as you relay that there is no assumption for anything in return, Emmons said. He suggests a statement such as “I’d love to know what you’re up to and how you are doing since I last saw you” to encourage more back-and-forth communication.

If you’re looking to join me in the search for showing more appreciation in the new year, dig around your place or head to the store for some postcards before brainstorming who might be the first person on your list to send some extra love.

Ready to do more? Sign up for our Stress, But Less newsletter to help reduce your stress and improve your mood in 2025. If you need help setting and sustaining your gratitude practice, try these tips for building habits.

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