Her dad was diagnosed with cancer. To honor him, this teen has donated thousands of books to kids in hospitals
By Faith Karimi, CNN
Emily Bhatnagar has always found solace in reading. When she’s struggling with anxiety and depression, she turns to books.
So when she accidentally saw a text message on her father’s phone notifying relatives he had stage 4 thyroid cancer, she masked her fears with the one thing she’s always found comfort in.
But this time, she went a little further.
At the age of 17, Emily launched a neighborhood book drive in honor of her dad, Mike Bhatnagar. She decided she’d donate the books to children who were also facing health scares.
“I thought to myself, I’m only a teenager. What can I do? I am not a doctor. I can’t save lives, but I can hopefully make them a tiny bit brighter,” says the teen, who lives with her parents in Gaithersburg, Maryland. “I was drowning in sadness when my dad was diagnosed. Thinking of these little children going through the same thing as my dad was unimaginable.”
This was July 2021. Her initial goal was to collect books for children undergoing cancer treatment, but she’s expanded it to all patients under 18. She called her effort For Love and Buttercup, after a favorite flower, and launched it with a request for book donations on neighborhood app Nextdoor.
Nearly two years later, her father’s thyroid has improved, For Love and Buttercup is a nonprofit and her grassroots efforts have spurred donations of more than 15,000 children’s books to DC-area hospitals.
“Buttercup flowers represent childlike innocence and playfulness that a lot of these kids don’t get to experience … It’s what I hope they feel, even for a few seconds, when they open my books,” she says.
The neighborhood book drive that began with a lone teen in a cloud of despair over her dad’s illness has grown into a nationwide initiative. And Emily, now 19, says it’s given her and her father a shared distraction that allows them to heal together.
Her book drive is a family operation
Emily Bhatnagar says she’ll never forget the day she learned of her dad’s cancer diagnosis in late 2019. He’d asked her to help him find an email on his phone when she stumbled on the message.
The teen says she had long battled depression, anxiety and an eating disorder, but that went up “1,000%” after she learned of her dad’s illness.
A few months later her dad was rushed to the ER because the tumor was making it hard for him to breathe and he needed an emergency tracheotomy.
For months, Emily watched in fear as the disease began taking away pieces of him: his health, his hair, his voice. She started starving herself. She felt guilty about eating when her father was feeding through a tube.
“I just physically couldn’t get myself to eat anything,” she says. “I wanted to spend every waking second with him.”
So Emily, who says she largely kept to herself in school and read books during recess, started thinking about how to help.
She posted the request for books on Nextdoor and was stunned when new and gently used volumes poured in from strangers of all backgrounds: a bioengineering graduate, a former sports journalist, a preschool teacher, a lover of romance novels, an astronomy major.
Her parents grew up in New Delhi, India, and immigrated to the US three decades ago seeking a better life. The family runs a takeout restaurant that serves Indian food and bakes Roti, Paratha and other flatbreads. Emily set up an Amazon wish list and listed their eatery’s Gaithersburg address as the place where donors could send books.
Her book drive became a family operation. The family, including Emily’s older brother, Michael, began spending evenings at the eatery, opening boxes of books. Delivering boxes of books to hospitals became a father-daughter routine. On days when her father was too sick to go with her, Emily called him on FaceTime from the hospitals as she made deliveries.
It gave the family something else to focus on during a stressful time.
“My dad is always at the shop,” Emily says. “What I really like is that he never lost his spark after cancer. He’s still super excited about life.”
Mike Bhatnagar has lost most of his vocal cords and speaks in a raspy whisper. He uses a tube to feed through his stomach.
He told CNN in an email that his daughter’s project has given him strength — and her a voice.
“I feel a little bit more strong each day. Emily has a lot to do with that,” he said. “I didn’t expect the impact of her book drive to be this huge. I thought it was only local and didn’t realize just how much passion Emily had for this cause.”
Hospitals say they are grateful for the books
As Emily tried to come to terms with her dad’s illness, she reached out to hospitals in the Washington, DC area about donating books. She wanted to give sick children a form of escape, too.
One of her first donations was a batch of about 1,500 books to Inova Cares Clinic for Families, which treats underserved and uninsured people in northern Virginia, says Fadi Saadeh, the facility’s senior director of community health.
Emily says she tries to pick books for children of all ages — from infants to teenagers — and weighs several factors in her choices.
“Of course I want to include childhood classics like Harry Potter, but I also want to ensure my books are diverse and have characters that the children reading these books can see themselves in,” she says.
“As an Asian American, I always felt so excluded because almost none of the books I read had characters that looked like me, or could relate to my heritage. I also try to add books written by smaller authors that may be people of color, and books that carry powerful messages about perseverance.”
Between the pages, she often tucks a personal note with a positive message for kids. Sometimes, she’ll add Beanie Babies and other stuffed animals. Saadeh says those are extremely popular with kids at their Virginia clinics.
“Dear sweet child,” reads one of her notes to a pediatric cancer patient. “You are a real life superhero. My hero Superman’s strength doesn’t even compare to yours.”
The Bhatnagar family delivered another 1,500 books in November to Holy Cross Health hospitals and clinics. Alisa Smallwood, chief development officer at Holy Cross Health, said the books are a welcome distraction for hospitalized kids.
“When we are faced with challenges, we really have a choice in how to respond. She chose to look outside herself and help others — that’s really brave,” Smallwood says. “We are grateful to have been chosen by Emily … Hospitals are a scary place for kids, and the books will help enhance the healing environment.”
Whenever possible, Emily specifies the books go to hospitals with pediatric cancer units. And as the pandemic eases, she has finally been able to distribute some books in person.
“Watching the kids get excited when I handed them the books … it was the most precious, best day of life,” she says.
Her cause is teaching her life skills — and giving her strength
Emily says she’s still blown away by the fact that strangers donate books to her.
“This would not even exist without them. It’s still so crazy to me that they use their hard-earned money on my books … on a cause run by a 19-year-old.”
Emily says she is feeling much better now. But her father recently got some more bad news. His cancer was in remission for a while, but doctors recently found cancerous spots in his lungs, she says.
This time, however, she feels a more equipped to handle the setback.
“Your emotions, no matter how strong and powerful they feel, they can never kill you,” she says. “You will survive. You just have to breathe.”
Emily is taking virtual classes at Montgomery College and hopes to transfer to an in-person school once her father’s health stabliizes. Her dream is to major in psychology at Yale University and work with children.
In the meantime, the books keep coming. Her not-so-little book drive is teaching her how to run a nonprofit and build relationships with community leaders.
The most important lesson she’s learned? That there’s still beauty in the world, however tough things get sometimes, she says.
And a book is always a good distraction.
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