Kansas mom, lawmaker, pushing to criminalize suggesting suicide
KCTV, FAMILY PHOTOS, TIKTOK, CNN
By Betsy Webster
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WICHITA, Kansas (KCTV) — It’s been nearly a year since a young man in Kansas died by suicide after getting taunting texts telling him to do it.
Now, his mom is teaming up with a state lawmaker to criminalize encouraging someone to attempt suicide.
Testimony before the Judiciary Committee on HB2488 begins Wednesday afternoon.
Max Coleman was 21, in the age group with the fastest-rising rate of suicide and suicide attempts in the state of Kansas.
Max’s mom, Jill Janes, remembers him as full of joy until just a few months before his life ended.
“Think of the most loyal person you’ve ever known and multiply it by 100 and that was Max,” Janes said.
He was funny, popular, and the kind of kid who made connections, bringing people together.
At his Wichita high school, he founded the Leche Club, a place to belong. Instead of special skills or interests, it was for anyone who liked milk and cookies, which meant just about everyone. It become the school’s most popular club and continued after he graduated.
“They ended his funeral the same way they ended every club,” Janes said. “They said, ‘Long live Leche.’”
Last year, a heartbreak left him spiraling downward. His mom knew. They talked openly. She was working to get him help, but therapists were booked.
“We finally got him in for an appointment on Monday,” Janes said, “but he died on Friday.”
In the days leading up to his death, he’d been getting harassing texts. He warned the person texting that he was considering suicide, saying please don’t. Janes said the person replied with remarks like, “Good. Do it. Nobody cares.”
“And that messaging persisted until Max sent back a very somber reply that he would be following through, and he did, and that was the last communication my son ever had on this earth,” she described.
Kansas State Rep. Nick Hoheisel, a Wichita Republican, introduced the bill this session. He and Janes made it clear the goal isn’t punishment. It’s prevention.
“We want this to be a conversation of ‘Just don’t do this to begin with,’” Hoheisel said. “There are real-world consequences for doing this.”
The law would not be retroactive. Janes forgives the people involved in the goading messages to her son. She thinks of it like drunk driving laws. She hopes it will change behaviors.
“There’s another Max out there that needs this law to exist so someone reroutes their plans,” Janes said. “That’s what I want to do. I couldn’t save my son. I want to save the next person.”
The Kansas Department of Health and Environment reports there have been more than 6,000 suicides between 2011 and 2022, the most recent year for which data is available. That represents a statistically significant increase of 53.4% in the state’s suicide death rate during that time.
Dr. Gregory Nawalanic, a clinical psychologist with the University of Kansas Health System, says young people are adding to that at an alarming rate.
“Anywhere from age 10 all the way to age 25 is where we are seeing the largest increase in suicide attempts and successful completions,” Nawalanic said. “In the last decade, it has been a statistically exponentially high increase.”
He attributes that to a combination of factors colliding. Young brains have not yet developed impulse control, he said. Add to that the ubiquity of cell phones, which allow bullies to follow their targets 24/7.
“If you used to have a problem with somebody at school and you were at school, when you went home, they didn’t follow you there,” Nawalanic reasoned. “They didn’t pop up in your bedroom at 10:30 at night and continue to ridicule.”
He’s not sure a law will stop that. His focus is encouraging parents to have real talks, even before adolescence. He said it’s important to check in with them, even if they seem annoyed.
“Kids may brush you off and say, ‘Oh, don’t ask. Oh, shut up. I don’t want to talk about it.’ The reality is they do want parents asking. They do want to know that their parents care, and they want to have a safe place that they can express and share,” Nawalanic said.
They might not want to talk now, but that constant reinforcement will make a difference when they do want to talk, he said.
A depressed person can be hesitant to share. They can perceive that they are a burden. Nawalanic offered a message to share early and often to reinforce what’s essential for them to know in a time of crisis.
“I’m always going to be here and you’re never, ever going to say something to me that I can’t handle. And you’re never going to burden me with anything,” he suggested.
As children get older, he suggests being upfront. Don’t be afraid to use the word “suicide.”
“A lot of parents are afraid to use the language, afraid to use the word because they think they’re going to plant an idea and they don’t want to do that,” Nawalanic said. “I can assure you that’s not the case and that, at times, it’s most important that you actually do use this specific language.”
Max’s mom did all those things, but it wasn’t enough. She rushed from her home in Texas to be by his side in Wichita. She drove overnight to be there. When she arrived, he was already dead.
The National Suicide Prevention Hotline has a new, easy-to-remember number. Just dial 988.
For some, that’s not enough. The initial response is a recorded menu asking the caller to press 1, 2 or 3 to get to the right person. That small extra step can be discouraging.
Nawalanic said people should not be afraid to call 911 or bring a loved one to an emergency room. From there, case managers or nursing staff will make calls to inpatient facilities to find one with room. The stigma around outpatient therapy has lessened significantly over the years, but inpatient care still feels uncomfortable to most people, but when you or a loved one are at what he called “that absolute breaking point,” it might be the best option.
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